In Roma culture, the weeks after birth are a time when the family gathers around the mother, and this is beautiful. But I have also seen a shadow side: mothers who cry every day and are told it is normal. Mothers who bleed heavily and wait too long to seek help. Mothers whose pain is dismissed because 'this is what women go through.' Your recovery matters as much as your baby's health — because your baby needs you alive and well.
Your body needs 6 weeks minimum to heal. The bleeding (lochia) after birth is normal for 2–4 weeks, but if it suddenly increases, contains large clots, or smells bad — go to the hospital immediately. I have seen mothers lose dangerous amounts of blood because they were told heavy bleeding was normal. It is not
If you feel persistently sad, empty, unable to connect with your baby, or have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby — you are not weak, you are not a bad mother, you have a medical condition that responds to treatment. I say this in every home visit because the stigma in our communities around postpartum depression costs lives
Your 6-week postnatal check-up is not optional — it checks for infection, healing, blood pressure, and mental health. In my experience, fewer than 30% of Roma women attend this visit. Please be in that 30%. Bring someone with you if that helps
Accept every offer of help from family with cooking, cleaning, and childcare. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Your only jobs are feeding the baby and recovering. Everything else can wait. The strongest mothers I know are the ones who accepted help
Postpartum depression affects 1 in 5 women worldwide but is estimated to be even higher in Roma communities due to poverty stress, discrimination, and isolation. In every community where I have set up peer support groups for new mothers, depression rates dropped and breastfeeding rates rose — because connection heals.
If you gave birth in the last 6 weeks and have not had a postnatal check-up, call your health center today. If you feel persistently sad or overwhelmed, tell one trusted person — your mother, your health mediator, anyone. That first conversation is the hardest step and the most important one.